People worry about health at the wrong times, you ever notice that? 'Ooh, there's a hair in my food.' You're eating bacon -- there's a pig's ass in your food.
People worry about health at the wrong times, you ever notice that? 'Ooh, there's a hair in my food.' You're eating bacon -- there's a pig's ass in your food.
People worry about health at the wrong times, you ever notice that? 'Ooh, there's a hair in my food.' You're eating bacon -- there's a pig's ass in your food.
AN ELDERLY LADY PHONED HER TELEPHONE COMPANY
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her
pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the
telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phoneto ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing andmoaning.
AN ELDERLY LADY PHONED HER TELEPHONE COMPANY
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her
pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the
telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phoneto ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing andmoaning.
AN ELDERLY LADY PHONED HER TELEPHONE COMPANY
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her
pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the
telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phoneto ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing andmoaning.
AMANDA MELSON: TAKE BACK THE FIELD
I read that, apparently, 13% of young men living in rural America lose their virginity to livestock. That is not right -- those poor cows. I'm thinking of starting the
first annual 'Take Back the Field' rally. I've got some slogans for the cows, like, 'Moo Means No!' Or, 'Hey, stop treating us like women and start treating us like
pieces of meat!'
AMANDA MELSON: TAKE BACK THE FIELD
I read that, apparently, 13% of young men living in rural America lose their virginity to livestock. That is not right -- those poor cows. I'm thinking of starting the
first annual 'Take Back the Field' rally. I've got some slogans for the cows, like, 'Moo Means No!' Or, 'Hey, stop treating us like women and start treating us like
pieces of meat!'
AMANDA MELSON: TAKE BACK THE FIELD
I read that, apparently, 13% of young men living in rural America lose their virginity to livestock. That is not right -- those poor cows. I'm thinking of starting the
first annual 'Take Back the Field' rally. I've got some slogans for the cows, like, 'Moo Means No!' Or, 'Hey, stop treating us like women and start treating us like
pieces of meat!'
ADAM FERRARA: LOOK TO NATURE
I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie -- just a
quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
ADAM FERRARA: LOOK TO NATURE
I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie -- just a
quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
ADAM FERRARA: LOOK TO NATURE
I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie -- just a
quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
A.J. JAMAL: FREE CATS
Cats are cool because you don't have to buy them. You see them on the street, take them home -- they're yours. You ain't never seen a cat being bought out of a pet
store. They just sit in the pet store. They're under there like, 'Meow,' and you be looking at them like, 'Oh they're so cute. Let's go find one like that.'
A.J. JAMAL: FREE CATS
Cats are cool because you don't have to buy them. You see them on the street, take them home -- they're yours. You ain't never seen a cat being bought out of a pet
store. They just sit in the pet store. They're under there like, 'Meow,' and you be looking at them like, 'Oh they're so cute. Let's go find one like that.'
A.J. JAMAL: FREE CATS
Cats are cool because you don't have to buy them. You see them on the street, take them home -- they're yours. You ain't never seen a cat being bought out of a pet
store. They just sit in the pet store. They're under there like, 'Meow,' and you be looking at them like, 'Oh they're so cute. Let's go find one like that.'
A WOMAN'S FOUR FAVORITE ANIMALS
Q: What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it all.
A WOMAN'S FOUR FAVORITE ANIMALS
Q: What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it all.
A WOMAN'S FOUR FAVORITE ANIMALS
Q: What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it all.
A SACK FULL OF CHICKENS
Two rednecks walk down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what's in the sack.
The first man says, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight."
The other man asks how many chickens are in the sack.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the first redneck, "If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack, I'll give them both to you."
A SACK FULL OF CHICKENS
Two rednecks walk down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what's in the sack.
The first man says, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight."
The other man asks how many chickens are in the sack.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the first redneck, "If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack, I'll give them both to you."
A SACK FULL OF CHICKENS
Two rednecks walk down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what's in the sack.
The first man says, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight."
The other man asks how many chickens are in the sack.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the first redneck, "If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack, I'll give them both to you."
A PIECE OF ADVICE
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
A PIECE OF ADVICE
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
A PIECE OF ADVICE
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
A MAN AND HIS PET GIRAFFE WALK INTO A BAR...
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion -- it's a giraffe."
A MAN AND HIS PET GIRAFFE WALK INTO A BAR...
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion -- it's a giraffe."
A MAN AND HIS PET GIRAFFE WALK INTO A BAR...
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion -- it's a giraffe."
A KANGAROO WALKS INTO A BAR...
A kangaroo walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Blood is the lipstick of all wounds."
The bartender does not know how he said this or why.
A KANGAROO WALKS INTO A BAR...
A kangaroo walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Blood is the lipstick of all wounds."
The bartender does not know how he said this or why.
A KANGAROO WALKS INTO A BAR...
A kangaroo walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Blood is the lipstick of all wounds."
The bartender does not know how he said this or why.